Frank J wants bloggers to answer these questions, so here are my answers:

1. Who the hell do you think you are?

-Who the hell do you think I'm not?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

-My God, it's like you've known me my whole life!

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

-You mean outside of writing vitriolic, hate-filled letters-to-the-editor? No. But I did write you (Frank) an obituary when you died that one time.

4. Do you even read newspapers?

-When the newspaper editors start reading my letters-to-the-editor, then maybe I'll start reading their fish-wrap.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

-Me no can watch FOX News. Me no have cable.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

-YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM!!!!!

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

-Well, I used to believe this was this case until it was brought to my attention that my "fax machine" was in fact a toaster, and what the GOP was sending me was in fact toast.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

-Because fuck them!

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

-Other what now?

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

-Another what now?

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

-Because I completely suck at not dying.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

-To answer the first question, I have a pretty good idea about the horrors of sitting through a history lecture that doesn't have any wars in it. As for the second question, yes, but my best friend's face is a chalupa. Long story.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

-What do you think, junior? You think these hands have just been soaking in ivory liquid?!

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

-I am Right!

This is from an e-mail I was forwarded

Ethics Test

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-makingphotos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer . . . somehow the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Hillary Clinton! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under . . . forever. You have two options--you can save the life of Hillary Clinton, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer :

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

I was over at the libertarian Claire Wolfe's blog, and I came across the following delightful little quote by Desmond Tutu,

"The unregistered child is a nonentity. The unregistered child does not exist."
-- Bishop Desmond Tutu

A socialist, anti-Israel Nobel Peace Prize laureate believes that our identities, in fact our very existance, is bestowed upon us by the State? Well, no surprises there, but it amazes me that this obvious anti-individual agenda by the Ivory Tower Left goes completely unchallenged for the most part. Anyway, here's Claire's comments in response,

Tutu is merely expressing longstanding United Nations policy. But it's
somehow especially chilling to hear an alleged man of faith declare that the
individual doesn't even live, breathe, or possess a soul until the state says
so. Apparently the individual doesn't have the slightest importance within
himself, his family, his friends, his community. Only as a databit in a
worldwide registry.

To change gears a bit, while I was over at Claire Wolfe's blog I came across a link to this interesting editorial, which argues that corporatism (not to be confused with free market capitalism) and socialism go hand in hand, and are both equally enemies of true laissez-faire capitalism.

Spoons has a rundown of more or less everything you ever need to know about former president Jimmy Carter.

Read this rant (found at Bane Rants). It's funny.

For the record, "free speech" means you can say whatever the hell you want without threat to your person or property, not that you can say whatever the hell you want and keep your job. That last part is completely up to the guy who signs your paycheck. Go to hell, Ward Churchill.

Okay, I've repeatedly declared my love for the pop-punk band The Vandals on this blog. Well, I decided to check up on their website, and I was thrilled to see that they have a journal up about their tour to Iraq to perform for the troops. So far I haven't had a chance to read the whole thing, but I glanced through it, and there's a ton of cool stuff on there that is definitely worth reading. One thing I read on their tour journal, which I felt I should post here, was from their account of a tour stop in Vienna, where there was a backlash against them because they played for the troops.

There were no posters in town for our show at the Planet. We've had a lot of great shows over the years in vienna at the Arena which used to be the biggest squat in Austria. We've been playing here since we used to stay at the squat

Now they have decided to cancel our show here because we played for the troops in Iraq and they have put up some really sad stuff on their web site that says we played for "murderers and idiots."

Our only comment to this amazing display of ignorance is the top ten responses we came up with.Quote from the Vandals: As a band with zero political songs, yet 10 about diarrhea, we were pretty amused that the Club Arena in Vienna, Austria found something to rally against in our visit to Iraq to entertain soldiers. Here are our top 10 responses to their decision to ban us:

10. If we turn out to be double agents you guys just totally blew it.
9. Vandals Good, Hitler from Vienna adjacent"
8. We only killed eardrums, promise!
7. Bravo! Fascist smear campaigns like this sound so much more kick ass in German.
6. Sorry, we didn't know you were going to get all French about it.
5. If we spit on our countrymen and don't bathe for a month can we come back in?
4. Boycott me, boycott you!"
3. You could have just told us pre-sale was bad."
2. Great. More time to spend in the Eagle's Nest gift shop.
1. Shut your bread and cheese hole, the spokesman for your country, Arnold Schwarzenegger, said this would all be cool.

The walk was fun because there was snow everywhere and it made down town vienna look pretty amazing. Too bad we will probably never play here again. Hippies like this obviously don't realize the sacrifices we make in our personal lives to drag our sorry asses to places like Austria.

This is a tiny country and we have 3 shows here on this tour. That's more than we played in canada last year. They could find a political issue to whine about in a blackforest ham sandwich.

More time for them to schedule more nazi black metal bands in their club, I guess. Congratulations.

Aren't these guys awesome?!

Then as a birthday gesture, Dave asked me to play drums on Pat Brown and Derek played bass. It was insane. Off the chain. Guess who didn't see it? A bunch of closed minded boycotting austrian fascist hipocrites, that's who. Hahahahahahahahahalolhahaha!

I read a little bit through the rest of their journal, and there's some really great stuff in there. They mention that the most popular song of their set among the troops was their cover of the Team America theme song.

I can not say it enough, I love this band!