"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."-- Frank Zappa(1940-1993), Musician

I'm going through Kallini withdrawal while they switch to a different host. I guess for now we play the waiting game...

Pretty much everyone has already linked to this, but just in case you haven't seen it, check out John Hawkins' recent interview with Mark Steyn. It's really good. Here's a good collection of Mark Steyn quotes, for anyone who's interested and has some free time.

I encourage anyone and everyone to post anything you think is interesting in the comments to this post. Hopefully something that can start a discussion in the comments, because I'm bored and don't know anything interesting that isn't already on blogs that everyone reads anyway.

People who have been reading AfD for a while probably remember when I posted a while back on how my favorite band, The Vandals, went to Iraq to play for our soldiers. After playing in Iraq they took a lot of shit from European leftists when they toured there, with clubs cancelling their shows for no reason other than that they entertained a group of bored and homesick American soldiers. Well, it got even worse than that. This is kind of old news, it happened back in February, but the Vandals were supposed to do a show in Athens, Greece, which ended up being cancelled because a couple hundred "peace activists" surrounded the club they were supposed to play at for two hours, many armed with chains, knives and sticks, and literally made threats on the lives of the band members if they played their show. Here's the account of what happened by Vandals' bassist, Joe Escalante, from his tour journal (with emphasis added by me on certain lines)

Now for the bad news. There has been an organized boycott against our Athenian show for a while but at least from the promoter's point of view it died down enough when I issued a statement declaring we have no political objectives when we perform in war zones.

It's the same old story, a political movement using a music scene to create blind hatred. Sound familiar? We have it in America too but not enough people are dumb enough to buy into it here. When you dig into it, they are really only mad over the amount of money they will never have and their perception of how materialistic and wealthy Americans are.

If they wanted to protest me for my house in the hills with the gnarly pool, I would say right on Cyklops! You go Hellen! I have something you think you will never have so come at me from the bottom of the hill with your swords! But to stand between our music about girls selling corn dogs and the punk fans that want to see us perform to further political views of any kind is just desperation. The money lost will prevent the promoters from bringing more music to your country for a long time.

You are desperate fools and I don't really know what you pretend your political gripes are but whatever they are, you are so stupid I'm sure they are wrong to the core. But we all know it's our swimming pools that you are really after. You want to take them over for the people and turn them into proper grafiti canvases and sell unlicensed Bob Marley flags out of them. Just admit it and stop pretending you have a coherent and noble cause.

Before the soundcheck the owner of the club gave us some safety briefing about what to expect from the protestors who were pledging to start fights with us at the show. He said he had hired some extreme security forces to escort us at all times during the concert. The opening band, Vodka Juniors, had already pulled out of the show. My first instinct was to declare Vodka Juniors the biggest pussies I've ever heard of, but as the night grew on, it was unclear. Maybe they knew what they were doing and didn't want to die. Thanks for your bold support Vodka Juniors, can't wait to get your demo. Since writing this Vodka Juniors has contacted me and told me they had a good reason to cancel, although they wouldn't tell me what it was yet. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and I will not pass judgment on them. Can't wait to hear the demo, though.

During sound check the owner of the club interrupted us to tell us that things were getting very ugly outside the club which was called "An." He showed us some protest material. Like the flyers in Milan , it contained lies about us. Here's a tip for all you progressive punkers out there. If your movement has to tell lies, you are going nowhere and you are worse than anything you are trying to tear down. When I see my picture on something with a dead baby and prisoner abuse, I know I am dealing with losers and it just makes me want to do whatever will piss them off in the future.

After a little while longer he said the show was cancelled. Then it started to get weird. There were a couple hundred people outside threatening us, the club and our famlies with knives, chains, and sticks, etc if we played our music. The security said there were an additional 500 "peace protestors" at a nearby park waiting to ambush as soon as the violence started with an attack on us in front of the club. Here's your peace movement.

We were then under seige for about 2 hours. The security couldn't get us safely out of the building. There was only one way in and out of this basement like night club.

This got uncomfortable because we couldn't really tell what was happening because all the discussions were going on in Greek. My wife was there too which made it even more uncomfortable for me.

Every once in a while they would tell us some information about what was going on outside but we felt pretty powerless. Thre was no back door or anything. It got to the point that we started to worry about exactly how far all these people would go to protect us. They had no reason to risk their lives really.

At one point I sent a message to my assistant in L.A. to have her call the American embassy in Athens because it was weird to us that the promoter and the club were telling us that we would be beaten to death if we walked outside the club, but no one would call the police. None of us had cell service in the club but the data on my Sidekick was working.

The only fun thing that happened was that at the peak of tension (we were all pretty nervous due to our helplessness and sitting duck situation) I jumped on a big balloon that exploded with the sound of a hand granade. The owner of the club came running out of the back to see what happened. It freaked out everyone so I felt bad but I flew a long way to perform in Greece and I think I deserved a little fun. I apologize to everyone who thought they were going to die at that moment. I must admit though it was a pretty amazing sound. I have no idea what that balloon was doing there, but it was ripe.

Then someone banged on the door and Warren said it was the protestors offering us a giant horse as a peace offering. Nervous laughter.

After being in there for two hours, a shuttle bus pulled up and they said they could get us out of there if we hurried. They had convinced enough of the people to go home, and they refunded all the ticket money. It was a very strange but efficient exit with very brave security guys securing a clear escape route. They were even jogging outside the vehicle until we got to the main thoroughfare. It was very secret service like.

After almost getting beat to death in the name of Greek peace we still had to eat, so I took Sandra to this place called Ancient Tastes (looks like APXAIWN in Greek) that served authentic 3rd century b.c. Greek cuisine.

It looked like where Xena and Gabrielle would eat if they went on a proper date. Everything was prepared according to research on ancient cooking. No forks, that's a little something called Hellenic tough love. You will eat your salad and wild boar chops with a spoon and like it. The waiters and waitresses looked like star trek carachters.

The food was amazing.

All in all I feel sorry for the punk scene in Greece and Europe if they are to be held hostage by people with such small brains. It's not just the punk scene when you consider how many Italian radio stations actively tried to further the boycott against us. These are once proud countries and now they are so debilitated by political factions the best they can hope for in life is to hope that they can join the EU and be on the Euro.

Since posting this the first time, I've received a lot of whining from Greeks about things I've said. I am sorry if I offended any of you but we went to a lot of trouble to come to your city to play music and we were almost killed by people in your punk scene. My wife was also a target. The fallout from this is your problem. Your punk scene tried to kill me and I made it home. If you are mad at someone, be mad at the people with the knives and chains. Don't be mad at me. There's no happy ending here. Everyone got screwed. Don't look to me to paint it over with an understanding brush. I'm still a little mad about the situation.

It made me happy to be back in America and sadly I have become very unsympathetic to these protestors' (on the surface) quite noble political causes now that I've faced the idiots behind them and experienced what is really beyond the peace signs.

When we deplaned there was a security situation because they wanted to question someone on our flight. Turns out I knew the people. They were on an Iranian watch list and we had played the girls 16th birthday party about 15 years ago. She was just a little punker back then. She was in Europe protesting the Iranian Government. Weird

I will close with a letter pointing out the Greek version of what happened in Athens . The people who broght us there were fans. They were great people with vision and this is how they see it.

"As a Kung Fu Street Team member in Athens and alongtime Vandals fan i would like to Apologize and express my disgust on behalf of everyone that went to the show, only to find outside the club 30-40 people holding bats, chains and knives trying (and ultimately ucceeding) to shut the place down. The people that where there to listen to good music and enjoy the show, were A LOT more than those who didn't. But people went to the show to have fun, not a confrontation with "anarchists" (that's what they call themselves) with lives so empty and meaningless they'll jump on every chance to make other people miserable. Did those "anarchists" know who the Vandals are? Probably never heard of them before. Did they even read why the Vandals played in Iraq ? Most definitely not, they are too stuck up to consider another opinion and anyway, they're single digit IQ doesn't really allow them to read. They just heard of the words Vandals and Iraq , and all the processing their little brain was able to do was: Vandals + Iraq = Mass murdering capitalist who eat babies alive. You should not be angry at these people, just be sorry for them. Unfortunately on February 15th, they got it their way. Once again i would like to apologize on behalf of the many people over here that love the Vandals and really wanted to see a good show, and ask the band to consider visiting Athens sometime in the future, when the whole Iraq deal is forgotten. The actions of these people do not, and never will represent the majority, just keep in mind that the Vandals and everyone in the Kung Fu family will always be welcome in Greece ."

Gee, you think we'll hear the same cries of "fascism" from the left as we heard thrown at people who dared burn their own Dixie Chix CDs? Oh, wait, this happened four and a half months ago and no major media sources said shit about it. And this isn't over any political statements The Vandals have made. On the rare occasion where they have made political statements in public or in their lyrics they have always been of the typical light-hearted goofiness that makes up most of what The Vandals are known for. This protest was simply because they performed for the troops in Iraq! (even some celebrities who are opponents of the Iraq war, like Al Franken, have done USO tours for the soldiers over there, yet to leftist Euro-assholes this is apparently unforgivable)

A post from over at Spoons'

The difference between DC and Marvel used to be one of those cultural dividing lines -- a slightly geekier version of the Beatles-vs.-the-Stones question.
For the record, I'm a DC guy, myself -- although I loathe Superman. Talk among yourselves, I'll give you a topic: DC fans are conservative, Marvel fans are liberal. Discuss.

It's been a really long time since I read any comic book. However, when I was younger I was really into the X-Men and crap, so I've always been more of a Marvel guy. To me there really doesn't seem to be too much of interest in DC, outside of the Batman universe. A lot of the DC characters I really don't get exactly what their superpowers are supposed to be, and the ones I did sort of know seemed to have pretty stupid powers. I didn't follow politics too closely back when I used to actually read comic books sometimes, so I didn't really detect any sort of political ideologies being promoted/denounced in comic books, or anything like that. I just happen to find the universe of Marvel characters a lot more interesting than those of DC. Of course, I gotta say, I'm way more interested in seeing Batman Begins than Fantastic Four. What do you guys think of the Marvel vs. DC debate? Or are you all too cool for that?

Oh, and since I keep seeing this question come up lately, who do you guys prefer, the Rolling Stones or the Beatles? Personally I gotta go with the Stones. The Beatles have some stuff I like, but I've never been particularly crazy about them. In fact, I never have been particularly crazy about the Stones either, and honestly both bands are fairly overrated. However, I think the song Paint it Black alone puts the Stones well ahead of the Beatles, at least in my opinion.

“What distinguishes the rule of law from the dictatorship of a shifting Supreme Court majority is the absolutely indispensable requirement that judicial opinions be grounded in consistently applied principle.” -Justice Scalia

This was part of the dissenting opinion to recent rulings about the 10 commandments in courtrooms. The more I hear from this man, the better he sounds. Full story found here at MSN.

The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things— war and hunger and date rape— liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things.... It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to make a buck.

In fact, safety has no place anywhere. Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters.) And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It is impossible to be alive and safe.

Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.

I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners— two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.

One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It takes a lot off your mind when average life expectancy is forty-five minutes.

Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun.

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.

The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn't speak German. For this, and several other reasons, Germany is known as 'the land where Israelis learned their manners'.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then get elected and prove it.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

War will exist as long as there's a food chain.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

Bachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is what my girlfriend said when she found the gin bottles under the couch. I believe her exact words were, "You're a disgusting, drunken mess." And that's a good description of a party, if it's done right.

Cleaning, like seduction, should be done from the top down— starting with the ceiling, which is ridiculous. Gravity takes care of that.

The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A pleasant natural environment is a good— a luxury good, philosophical good, a moral goody-good, a good time for all. Whatever, we want it. If we want something, we should pay for it, with our labor or our cash. We shouldn't beg it, steal it, sit around wishing for it, or euchre the government into taking it by force.

Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a doobie in his mouth, knows nature is not intrinsically healthy.

Being gloomy is easier than being cheerful. Anybody can say "I've got cancer" and get a rise out of a crowd. But how many of us can do five minutes of good stand-up comedy?

Ecology is the science of everything. Nobody knows everything. Nobody even knows everything about any one thing. And most of us don't know much. Say it's ten-thirty on a Saturday night. Where are your teenage children? I didn't ask where they said they were going. Where are they really? What are they doing? Who are they with? Have you met the other kids' families? And what is tonight's pot smoking, wine-cooler drinking, and sex in the backseats of cars going to mean in a hundred years? Now extend these questions to the entire solar system.

Even the bad things are better than they used to be. Bad music, for instance, has gotten much briefer. Wagner's Ring Cycle takes four days to perform while "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies lasts little more than three minutes.

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice. This is the best I can do. All the trouble in the world is human trouble. Well, that's not true. But when cancer cells run amok and burst out of the prostate and take over the liver and lymph glands and end up killing everything in the body including themselves, they certainly are acting like some humans we know.

Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia had become just this kind of spa.

It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.

Most of the research about species extinction has been conducted on islands because islands are controlled environments and scientists can get drinks with little umbrellas in them there... Island logic also tells us that an increase in habitat size means an increase in number of species. But it doesn't necessarily. You can build your bed as large as you like and still get very few people to sleep with you.

People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.

People with a mission to save the earth want the earth to seem worse than it is so their mission will look more important.

Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty— their power and privilege— to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by ... politicians.

Saigon is like all the other great modern cities of the world. It's the mess left from people getting rich.

The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion— very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly arrived half an hour after the toast and the coffee didn't come until we'd called for the check. However, it was hard to be angry at a place that had ice cream, beer, and cigarettes on its breakfast menu.

The observers had a logbook recording the assaults, bombings, and artillery attacks on the area. Each page was ruled in vertical columns: DATE, TIME, LOCATION, DAMAGE, CASUALTIES. The columns headed ACTION TAKEN BY THE UN were completely empty.

The people who believe that, as a result of industrial development, life is about to become a hell, or may be one already, are guilty, at least, of sloppy pronouncements. On page 8 of Earth in the Balance, Al Gore claims that his study of the arms race gave him "a deeper appreciation for the most horrifying fact in all our lives: civilization is now capable of destroying itself." In the first place, the most horrifying fact in many of our lives is that our ex-spouse has gotten ahold of our ATM card. And civilization has always been able to destroy itself. The Greeks of ancient Athens, who had a civilization remarkable for lack of technological progress during its period of greatest knowledge and power, managed to destroy them fine.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

When a private entity does not produce the desired results, it is (certain body parts excepted) done away with. But a public entity gets bigger.

When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.

When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have money and power already. This is why government benefits usually go to people who don't need benefits from government. Government may make some environmental improvements, but these will be improvements for rich bird-watchers. And no one in government will remember that when poor people go bird-watching they do it at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.

After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well please.

And pointing is only half of what dog breeders have accomplished. The dog also retrieves. Imagine— to put this in terms comprehensible to the lowest common denominator of male readers— you found a Victoria's Secret model in your front yard, wearing her professional attire, and intensely interested in affection. And suppose you carefully picked her up, being sure not to hug her too tightly or return any intimate caresses, and delivered her to your next-door neighbor, the guy who's had your Skill saw since last February and always lets his crab grass go to seed.

Anyone who has studied psychology, sociology, anthropology, or any of the other wacko-and-wog disciplines knows the three great rules of the social sciences: Folks do lots of things. We don't know why. Test on Friday.

Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby.

Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not entitlement. An entitlement is what people on welfare get, and how free are they? It's not an endlessly expanding list of rights— the "right" to education, the "right" to food and housing. That's not freedom, that's dependency. Those aren't rights, those are the rations of slavery— hay and a barn for human cattle. There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

Giving money and power to politicians is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

I wonder how many of the people who profess to believe in the leveling ideas of collectivism and egalitarianism really just believe that they themselves are good for nothing. I mean, how many leftists are animated by a quite reasonable self-loathing? In their hearts they know that they are not going to become scholars or inventors or industrialists or even ordinary good kind people. So they need a way to achieve that smugness for which the left is so justifiably famous. They need a way to achieve self-esteem without merit. Well, there is politics. In an egalitarian world everything will be controlled by politics, and politics requires no merit.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic.

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power.

No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works.

No government proposal more complicated than "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private" ever works.

No one ever had a fantasy about being tied up and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.

Popular culture has always been moronic. It has to be, by mathematics. I mean, one-half of the population is by definition below median intelligence.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

The American political system is like fast food— mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

The second item in the liberal creed, after self-righteousness, is unaccountability. Liberals have invented whole college majors— psychology, sociology, women's studies— to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. No one is fond of taking responsibility for his actions, but consider how much you'd have to hate free will to come up with a political platform that advocates killing unborn babies but not convicted murderers. A callous pragmatist might favor abortion and capital punishment. A devout Christian would sanction neither. But it takes years of therapy to arrive at the liberal view.

There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.

There are several recognizable types of humorous activity. There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.

There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as caring and sensitive because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he is willing to do good with other people's money. Well, who isn't? And a voter who takes pride in supporting such programs is telling us that he will do good with his own money— if a gun is held to his head.

There's a difference between information and knowledge. It's the difference between Christy Turlington's phone number and Christy Turlington.

What used to be called shame and humiliation is now called publicity.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.

Your money does not cause my poverty. Refusal to believe this is at the bottom of most bad economic thinking.

More here

*WARNING: SPOILERS!*

Yesterday I finally got around to seeing Star Wars Episode III: Rettack of the Phantom Sclones. I had originally intended to go see the new Batman, but I ended up making plans to go see that next week with the Holy Tard, so Episode III it was. I'll admit, after a semi-recent viewing of -- ugh... Episode II, I really wanted to hate this one, but it ended it up being not that bad. Don't get me wrong, the typical George Lucas idiocy is very much pressent throughout this movie, but some scenes in the movie were everything you could have wanted them to be. If creative control of the Star Wars franchise had been handed over to someone who wasn't the mental equivalent of a retarded mokey it would have probably served them well to have introduced a lot of the elements from Episode III back in Episode I or II, because quite honestly those movies tend to feel like they're just trying to waste time until they get to the meat and potatos in Episode III. Honestly, a lot of things in Episode III, such as the extermination of the Jedi, would have done a lot better to have been fleshed out over the course of at least two movies, rather than the brief, stupid Jedi-killing montage that they did, which minimizes any emotional investment the audience may have in the events. Of course, Lucas seems to have a habit of stumbling across something with tremendous potential, then shoving that potential down the back of his pants and crapping himself. I would definitely have to say that Episode III was the best of the prequel trilogies, but I would not agree, as some suggest, that it makes up for Episodes I & II, especially considering how many missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential are present in Episode III. As for the alleged political references, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find any legitimate parrallels between the events in the movie and current political events, but I do believe that much of the dialogue was deliberately tailored to reference the current political scene (particularly the repeated use of phrases like "executive powers" and Palpatine's demands for greater "security"), however, despite my belief that it was very much intentional, it's still pretty weak.

Here's what I liked about the movie:
-Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpetine. I thought he was absolutely great, up until the point where he is deformed to look like he does in Return of the Jedi (at which point he becomes ridiculously over the top). The actor pulls off this role brilliantly, until that point. He is simultaneously sinister (but sutbly so, and manages to seem simultaneously trustworthy) and charismatic. He is likable enough that you can understand why Anakin respects him. He usually tends to speak more reasonably, respectfully, and intelligently towards Anakin than any of the Jedi do, with the possible exception of Obi Wan.
-Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan. I don't think I've ever seen any other movies McGregor is in, but I think he was a good choice to play Obi Wan. Yeah, he has some dumb George Lucas lines every now and then, but thankfully he isn't degraded by a dumb, slapstick hover car chase in this movie. Obi Wan is one of my top favorite characters from the original trilogy, and I think McGregor does a good job capturing the wisdom and maturity of that character. Then again, maybe I'm just one of those simpletons who is easily impressed by a fancy British accent. Anyway, I can definitely see him aging into the Obi Wan of the original trilogy.
-Samuel L. Jackson. Sam Jackson simply radiates bad ass-ness in everything he's in. You could dress him up in a Sailor Moon costume, then put him in a documentary on the holocaust, and the end results would still be awesomeness!
-Yoda's little jumpsuit. Awwwwww!
-The confrontation of Obi Wan and Anakin, after Anakin's conversion to the dark side. In fact, I thought this scene (aside from the asinine statement about Sith lords seeing in "absolutes") played out way more dramatically (and excitingly) than the ensuing lightsaber fight. The part with Anakin choking Padme didn't make a lot of sense, but the back and forth between Obi Wan and Anakin was very satisfying. And -- dare I say it? -- I actually thought Hayden Christiangijreuwnfjssasons acting was actually pretty good in this scene or, at the very least, acceptable for such a dramatic scene.

Things I hated:
-Some kind of screaming bird-lizard. Obi Wan goes on one mission where he rides around on this abomination to the eyes of God and nature. I think this thing ends up drowning later in the film, but I don't know if that was enough of to redeem its presence in the film. This is a stupid animal, and it makes me angry. The fact that it wasn't as stupid looking as some of the alien/animal designs in Episode II is completely negated by the fact that the moment you first see the creature it starts repeatedly and radomly screaming this awful kind of sonic-bird scream as it walks. In another scene, Obi Wan rides in on this monstrosity, then attempts to eves drop on a large group of bad guys talking. I don't know what in the name of all that is holy Obi Wan was thinking, but you do not eves drop on people while riding a giant sonic bird-lizard that screams at random! I imagine he must have been smoking the stuff he was on when he later decides to "hide" Luke Skywalker at a house where Anakin Skywalker has been to before and knows he has relatives there, then live a far enough distance away that he is completely unaware when an army of imperial soldiers devestates the Skywalker farm and kills everyone present, but still decides to live within speeder distance and change his first name to "Ben" in his only attempt to hide his identity (Gee, let's hope Vader doesn't have a copy of the phone directory for rural Tattooine, because if he does you're fucked, Kenobi!).
-Chewbacca. I don't know where anyone, anywhere, ever, on the entire face of the planet, in the entire history of time, ever got the idea that anybody would ever give two shits and a nickel about seeing Chewbacca in a Star Wars prequel, but it wasn't from me. Chewbacca was a dumb and pointless character in the original trilogy, and he was even dumber and pointless-er in Episode III. His only accomplishment in the original trilogy was to serve as the token non-Aryan aboard the Millenium Falcon, and his only accomplishment in the prequel was to prove that George Lucas is willing to do anything to pander the short school bus demographic. Oh, and I simply refuse to believe that Yoda is great friends with Chewbacca and all his Wookie friends, from way back when. Yoda is the wisest living being in the whole fucking galaxy (presumably), whereas Chewbacca got out-smarted by a gazelle tied to a rope. It's like Niels Bohr hanging out with Carrot Top!
-"Only a Sith lord believes in absolutes!" This was supposedly Lucas's big jab at George W. Bush, for his "Axis of Evil" and "with us or against us" statements. Unfortunately, George Lucas forgot to double-check and make sure he wasn't a complete and utter fucking moron before he wrote the script, and goes on to make a complete and total ass of himself in front of the entire industrialized world. Ignoring for a second that the entire light-side/dark-side dichotomy has always been about as black and white/good vs. evil as can be, mere moments after Obi Wan makes this statement he makes the further assertion that the Sith are evil! (to which Anakin reponds that from his point of view "the Jedi are evil", which I thought was the best line in the entire movie, because it is easy to understand based on many of the Jedi's actions why someone would see things this way). Obviously Obi Wan has no intent or desire to see Palpetine and the Sith in shades of gray (okay, Palpetine is fairly evil, but there is really nothing in any of the movies that offers evidence that Darth Maul or Count Dooku are genuinely evil -- especially when their actions are put into the context that they are at war against people who seek their extermination -- other than their physical appearences, which is a pretty lousy thing to base an assumption of guilt upon). Oh, and incidentally, I absolutely believe that rape is completely disgusting and immoral under any circumstances. Does that make me a Sith lord?
-Emotions and attachment lead to the dark side. Now, I'll certainly agree that emotions can be the enemy of critical and intellectual thought (and I don't think there's a soul on this planet who isn't guilty of that), and thus well-intentioned actions based on emotion often have disasterous consequences, however to base the Jedi teachings on this premise would seem to contradict the original trilogy. Darth Vader was depicted as cold, emotionless, more machine than man. It isn't until Luke taps into Vader's emotions that he is able to bring Vader back to the light side. In Episode III Vader is converted to the dark side by his emotions, just the opposite of Episode VI. In fact, none of the Sith beside Palpatine seem to show any sort of emotion or attachment while they are in service to him (Maul in Ep. I, Dooku in Ep II & III, Vader in Ep. IV - VI). Is emotion simply the catalyst for conversion between one side to the other? Would an extremely emotional force user convert endlessly between the light and dark sides of the Force? Does Lucas have any goddamn clue what the Force is or does? If Jedi aren't allowed to attach themselves to individuals (except, apparently, to each other, as Obi Wan constantly mentions that Anakin is like a brother to him), why is it okay to attach themselves to a particular government body, the Galactic Republic, and defend it even when it is ripe with corruption? What makes the cause of the Galactic, semi-democratic oligarchy more noble than that of the seperatists?
-Anakin's bizarre sense of morality. At some points of the movie you could sympathize with Anakin, as his distrust of the Jedi would be understandable. However, it is less easy to understand the manner in which he weighs his moral dilemmas against each other and comes to some of the conclusions he does. When Palpatine reveals to him that he is the Sith master Anakin exposes him to the Jedi council, and suggests that he needs to be arrested. However, when Palpetine attempts to defend himself from arrest by some Jedi, killing several of them, Mace Windu decides he needs to kill Palpetine rather than take him alive. This is the point where Anakin begins to see the Jedi as evil, and asserts that Palpetine needs to be taken to trial rather than killed, which Mace Windu does not agree with. Now, obviously Anakin's judgement is tempered by his belief that Palpetine may be the only one who can prevent Padme from dying in child birth, but even so his reaction seems completely disproportionate to what has happened. Killing Mace Windu seems like a pretty huge friggin' step for him to take (especially given his insistance on a trial for Palpetine, just moments before) on the spur of the moment, but even allowing that the killing of Windu was somewhat reasonable given his emotional state, it seems for him to immediately go from this point to the point of slaughtering Jedi "younglings" is a huge leap. He goes almost instantly from a more or less decent yet troubled and confused young man dealing with temptation to sin, to a mass murderer of innocent children. Of course, at the beginning of the movie when Anakin kills Dooku he has no legitimate reason to kill him either, after which he makes an emotionless, obligatory statement of regret. And at the end, when Palpetine reveals to Anaking (now Vader) that he himself is responsible for the death of Padme, wouldn't he realize he was wrong to have gone to the dark side as he did? I don't understand at all how that contributes to him becoming the Vader of the original trilogy. There were quite a few other moments where Lucas's -- I mean, Anakin's reasoning just didn't seem to make sense, but that is all I can remember off the top of my head. Incidentally, what was Windu thinking when he decided to kill Palpetine without a trial? I mean, I know he just killed like two or three Jedi, but given the treatment of Palpetine in the senate, not to mention the granting of him extra time to serve beyond his apparent term limits, it is probably safe to say that he is a very popular leader. Wouldn't Windu suspect an enormous backlash against the Jedi throughout the galaxy, were he to kill Palpetine?
-The Wookie battle. First they hide behind a hill on the beach. Then they all just run out and charge at once, exposing themselves to enemy gunfire, meanwhile the enemy fleet is still like a hundred yards away from reaching the shore, so the Wookies are apparently planning on running out onto the ocean, Jesus style, and kicking the asses of a bunch of armored vehicles with their... I don't fuckin' know. Then a couple of Wookies swing out on vines that apparently hang from the sky above the ocean, and then they don't do anything. I have no goddamn clue which side won this battle, but I sincerely hope it wasn't the stupid, goddamn Wookies.
-R2D2. I was fairly indifferent to R2 in the original trilogy. Now I fucking hate him! He was some kind of Little Roller Trash Can That Could in the original trilogy, now he's delivering Matrix-style ass-whoopings to two specifically designed combat droids at once? Fuck you, George Lucas. Fuck you.
-Those stupid goddamn combat droids. I know I can't be the only one who noticed that these droids all look, talk, and act exactly like Jar Jar fucking Binks! So, the seperatists apparently contracted a Gungan to design and program their entire goddamn robot army. Too bad they couldn't have gotten some of those spacefart orbs that the Gungans use In Episode I, because those actually seem to get the goddamn job done.
-The creation of Vader. Okay, so Palpetine and some goons find the quadriplegic (the arm he had left I believe was the robotic arm he had from Episode II) Anakin covered in third degree burns, then whisk him away for medical treatment. There is one scene where the goons are carrying Anakin's burned and broken body in this open pod... outside... through the rain. Are you guys sure you don't want throw a tarp over that thing, or something? No? Okay, you're the doctor. Then they turn him into the Vader we all know and love... sort of. They take Anakin's corpse-ish remains into a room filled with droids who are trying to look busy, then we see him in the classic Vader suit, and at some point in between those scenes we pretend science happened. Anyway, I've seen quite a few people make fun of Vader's screaming "NOOOOOOO!!", but this whole scene is really an embarassment. Vader breaks out of his bindings like a hokey B-movie monster, and despite now having the intimidating Vader voice of the original trilogy, he still sounds whiny and pathetic and says things no person could ever have imagined coming from Darth friggin' Vader (no person, that is, except George Lucas!). Also, he's skinny and awkward looking. And why in the crap does Palpetine tell Vader that Padme died from his choking her? If he's going to lie (she actually died, apparently, from losing her will to live, according to the stupid medical droid), he could at least make it something good, something that doesn't seem like it would create in Vader a resentment of what Palpetine had made of him.

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. I'll post more if it comes to me.

Reader Murel Bailey has brought to my attention that conservative-libertarian and hot mom Deb is expecting another future member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. Congratulations!

[I give up. I've been trying to fix this for a while.
It simply won't fix.]

An op-ed piece at yahoo on religious higher
education(ie. BYU). I was suprised. It presented
facts and opinions is a well reasoned and
unbiased manner. It's nice light reading too.
Some gems:

"A second, perhaps more telling, reason
[for increased enrollment] is that strongly
religious students of all stripes often feel
unwelcome at secular schools, where their
beliefs are often derided in the classroom
and their sensibilities are offended by what
they regard as the amoral behavior of their
peers. "

"[Students at these colleges have
contemporary attitudes on:] The role of
women in society (while arguably taking
better account of women's actual goals and
desires than more doctrinaire feminist
groups do)"

Sip and Fly did this thing, so I'm gonna go do it, becuase of all the peer pressure.

Three screen names I've had:

-The Mad Alchemist
-NeutralAggressor
-Chris D

Three things I like about myself:

-My quirky tastes in humor/entertainment
-I'm usually very mild-mannered, patient, and slow to anger
-I usually try to hold my self to a higher moral standard than I do others

Three things I don't like about myself:

-I'm even lazier than Sip. Way lazier.
-I seriously need to lose some goddamn weight (actually, I have been losing weight, but I need to lose more)
-I am overly lacking in motivation and ambition

Three things that scare you:

-Permanent losses (death, losing touch with friends who move away, being unable to actually re-live my childhood, etc.)
-Utopian idealogues
-Heights

Three of my daily essentials:

-Catching up on my favorite blogs
-Eating mints or cough drops periodically throughout the day
-Anything that makes me laugh (even if it's just to myself)

Three things I am wearing right now:

-Pajama pants (I put them on after I got back from school)
-A long-sleeve gray T-shirt
-Black wireframe glasses

Three of my favorite songs:

-The Vandals - And Now We Dance
-The Squirts - I'm Not a Dick (right-click and 'save target as...' to download)
-Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue

Three new things I would like to try in the next 12 months:

-A serious relationship with one of those female-type things I hear so much about, I think they're called "women" or something
-Reading/finishing a bunch of books that I've been meaning to get around to
-Finding a new a job

Three things I want in a relationship:

-Sense of humor
-Interesting conversations
-Someone with an interest in life's simpler pleasures, as I am

Three things I can't do without:

-My dad
-My cat
-My car

Three places I would like to go on vacation:

-Sao Paulo, Brazil (I have family there)
-Outer Banks, North Carolina (I had fun on vacation there before)
-Japan (it just seems like an interesting country)

Three kids names:

-Beatrice (don't ask why I like this name so much, but if I ever have a daughter, I want to name her this)
-Caleb (this is the awesome name my mom intended to give me, but didn't because of objections from my grandmother, so I ended up with an overly common first name)
-Frank Grimes

Three things I just can't do:

-Stop doing impersonations of Homestar Runner characters
-Stop watching The Simpsons, even though it sucks lately
-Get seriously interested in watching televised sports

Three things I want to do before I die:

-Get married and have kids
-Prove to myself that I am willing to put my own life at risk to save someone else's
-Settle into a career that I genuinely enjoy

Three celebrity crushes:

-Neve Campbell
-Condi Rice
-Elasti-Girl

Three people I nominate to complete this exercise:

-You, the guy that's reading this
-Plus two more guys
-When I say "guys", that applies to males and females. Of course, I've only ever had 2 females (Bunkergurl and TUA) ever post anything on this blog, at least as far as I am aware. Where the hell is TUA anyway? I'm gonna have to think/draw up a new Angry Stick-figure Man, and hopefully draw out some of the commenters again. Oh, how I miss the things you people say...

I took a screen grab of my blog so that everyone can see the ridiculous, oversized font I'm looking at. Anyone have any idea what's wrong on my end?

UPDATE: Okay, we have normality. Thank you to Jason for figuring out the stupid thing I did. He gets a free link to his blog in thanks. Also becuase his blog is the awesomest blog I know of.

I think Teen Girl Squad may be becoming my favorite part of HomestarRunner.com. They just seem to keep getting better and better. The new one is high-larious!

But it seems to be affecting a lot of Blogger sites, so I'm just gonna hope Blogger fixes it and I don't have to worry about it anymore, and then I'll take down this post (unless I get some good comments to this post). Until then, I guess we're just gonna have to look like a blog designed for remedial blind people, or something. So, feel free to leave some retarded comments, and we'll have a big, retarded circle jerk. It'll be awesome!

UPDATE: Is anybody besides me having weird font issues? I'm getting oversized font on more than half the pages I visit, but it sounds like some people are visiting the same pages and not having a problem. Is it just me?

He's so sad because he used to be a member of the KKK, and now all his mean old political opponents are using it against him.

It's a mistake he has paid for time and again, the only significant scandal ever attached to a man who grew up in Wolf Creek Hollow and who next June stands to become the longest-serving senator in U.S. history.

Paid for? How, exactly? He gets reelected again and again in spite of (or, since it's West Virginia, perhaps because of) his former status with the Klan. What kind of consequences has he suffered because of his history? Seriouly, Senator, just thank your lucky Jesus you're not a Republican, because you would have been lynched and run out of Washington by the media a loooooonnnnnggg time ago! Remember the firestorm surrounding Trent Lott because he made the dumb mistake of giving a compliment to another senator on what would turn out to be that senator's last birthday ever? Or when a Repbulican congressman lost his seat for using the term "niggardly"? Can you imagine any Republican ever recieving a sympathetic article in Associated Press talking about how sad they were about their mistakes, decrying their opponents for using the mistakes in order to gain cheap political points, then going on to point out how patriotic and conservative the man was, and how he only joined the Klan because he was wooed by their pro-Americanism and anti-communist views? This AP piece is simply unbelievable! They are goddamn Klan apologists all of a sudden, simply because the ex-Klansmen in question happens to be a senior Senate Democrat.

Byrd says he never resented blacks, Catholics or Jews, but he failed to ''examine the full meaning and impact of the uglyprejudice behind the positive, pro-American veneer.''

Oh no? Let's hear Robert Byrd in his own words, from back in 1944:

"Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

Ahh. The sweet sounds of historical revisionism. Seriously, when do we go past the point of media bias to considering it blatant media Democrat activism?

Yes. Yes it is.
Recieved in an email:


DAVID GELERNTER
We Are Our History -- Don't Forget It
DAVID GELERNTER
Not knowing history is worse than ignorance of math, literature or almost anything else. Ignorance of history is undermining Western society's ability to talk straight and think straight. Parents must attack the problem by teaching their own children the facts. Only fools would rely on the schools.My son told me about a high school event that (at first) I didn't understand. A girl in his English class praised the Vietnam War-era draft dodgers: "If I'd lived at that time and been drafted," she said, "I would've gone to Canada too." I thought she was merely endorsing the anti-war position. But my son set me straight. This student actually believed that if she had lived at the time, she might have been drafted. She didn't understand that conscription in the United States has always applied to males only. How could she have known? Our schools teach history ideologically. They teach the message, not the truth. They teach history as if males and females have always played equal roles. They are propaganda machines.Ignorance of history destroys our judgment. Consider Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill), who just compared the Guantanamo Bay detention center to Stalin's gulag and to the death camps of Hitler and Pol Pot — an astonishing, obscene piece of ignorance. Between 15 million and 30 million people died from 1918 through 1956 in the prisons and labor camps of the Soviet gulag. Historian Robert Conquest gives some facts. A prisoner at the Kholodnaya Gora prison had to stuff his ears with bread before sleeping on account of the shrieks of women being interrogated. At the Kolyma in Siberia, inmates labored through 12-hour days in cheap canvas shoes, on almost no food, in temperatures that could go to minus-58. At one camp, 1,300 of 3,000 inmates died in one year. "Gulag" must not go the way of "Nazi" and become virtually meaningless. Europeans love calling Israelis "Nazis" — a transparent attempt to slough off their guilt like rattlesnakes shedding skin. ("See, the Jews are as bad as we were!") I'd like to ban the word "Nazi" except when applied to … Nazis. Lawbreakers would be ordered to learn what Nazi actually means.I was amazed to hear about teenagers who don't know Fact 1 about the Vietnam War draft. But I have met college students who have never heard of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge — the genocidal monsters who treated Cambodia in the 1970s to a Marxist nightmare unequaled in its bestiality since World War II. And I know college students who have heard of President Kennedy but not of anything he ever did except get assassinated. They have never heard JFK's inaugural promise: that America would "pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to ensure the survival and the success of liberty." But President Bush remembers that speech, and it's lucky he does.To forget your own history is (literally) to forget your identity. By teaching ideology instead of facts, our schools are erasing the nation's collective memory. As a result, some "expert" can go on TV and announce (20 minutes into the fighting) that Afghanistan, Iraq or wherever "is the new Vietnam" — and young people can't tell he is talking drivel.There is an ongoing culture war between Americans who are ashamed of this nation's history and those who acknowledge with sorrow its many sins and are fiercely proud of it anyway. Proud of the 17th century settlers who threw their entire lives overboard and set sail for religious freedom in their rickety little ships. Proud of the new nation that taught democracy to the world. Proud of its ferocious fight to free the slaves, save the Union and drag (lug, shove, sweat, bleed) America a few inches closer to its own sublime ideals. Proud of its victories in two world wars and the Cold War, proud of the fight it is waging this very day for freedom in Iraq and the whole Middle East. If you are proud of this country and don't want its identity to vanish, you must teach U.S. history to your children. They won't learn it in school. This nation's memory will go blank unless you act.

As far as nutsos go, they don't get much nuttier than the Reverend Fred Phelps, best known as the cult leader of the virulently anti-Semetic and anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church, which produces the websites godhatesfags.com and godhatesamerica.com, not to mention a great deal of hatemongering in general. Aaron, from Free Will, has an interesting post up about these nutbags, who apparently are launching a protest at the funeral of a soldier killed in Iraq. I checked out their two websites, and Fred Phelps' entry in Wikipedia, and let me tell you there is some entertaining (in the way gruesome car accidents are entertaining) shit in there. These wackos celebrate the death of every U.S. soldier killed in Iraq, they trash all Catholics as "fags" and "pedophiles", they celebrate the death of Matthew Shepherd (a gay college student who was beaten to death because of his sexual preferences), Phelps has praised the regimes of Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro, and even got permission from Saddam's government for members of his church to visit Iraq and protest the United States back during the late 90's. As far as fuckhead's go, they don't get much fuckier than this guy.

Oh, and the best part is that this moonbat has connections with Al Gore (yes, that Al Gore), and has run in the Democrat primaries for governor of Kansas. Any leftists who may secretly read this blog, if you ever read this post and thought I was full of shit, what do you have to say now?

So this wednesday's presentation (there's one every wednesday) was about how IRBs don't hate researchers. For tose of you who are not actually involved with research, IRB stands for Internal Reviw Board. Basically, they came about because there wasn't really sufficient protection for people participating in medical studies. The part that researchers see though, is that they have to submit proposals to these faceless entities, and then wait for approval. Metrohealth takes ~2 weeks to approve an ongoing investigation and ~ 6 for a new one. Metrohealth is also fairly speedy, or at least not slow. Researchers see this as a huge impediment to actually conducting research (which, to be fair, it is).
Anyway, as part of that, we got to hear all about historical medical ethics, and lapses thereof. The first guideline is very venerable, "first, do no harm." Aescelpus, I think. Next was the holocaust, specifically the parts which the Nuremburg trials dealt with. This was an unpleasant series of experiments where scientists tried to learn the yolerances of the human body for things like ingesting salt water or freezing. Also, they tried battlefield medicine techniques, which entailed first wounding thier subjects.
This is justifiably considered a Bad Thing.
The next big thing that came up was the Tuskegee syphilus study. Although slightly less clear cut, it's still more than apparant that this was a Very Bad Thing.
Then there was something about irradiating mentally retarded students. This wasn't entirely bad (there were good reasons, which I can't remember), but suffered due to improper disclosure and consent.

Anyway, with that background, the cool part:
One of the doctors drew an excellent parallel, pointing out that the Germans did not consider their prisoners human, that in America black people were not considered the same as white people, and in his own culture, other asians had been considered "less valuable" than those of japanese descent. Today we condemn these people because we ackowledge their subjects as human beings. This raises an interesting question when we look at how blithely we approve of stem cell research.

I wish I could remember his exact words; he was FAR more eloquent than my summary, though approximately as brief.

The presenter picked up from there, and pointed out that the Tuskegee study had NIH funding, and that the Nazi scientists hadn't been torturing their subjects, they'd been conducting actual medical research. We look to stem cell research to provide miracle cures, but even if it does, we can't simply make the ethical questions disappear.

I found the whole thing incredibly heartening. I'm willing to hear justifications for stem cell research, but the claim that there is no issue just plain scares me.
Claims that it's purely a religious issue, on the other hand, simply enrage me.

More mockery of the mainstream media's, uh maudlin muggings on muslims in Gitmo.

http://www.lileks.com/screedblog/05/05/051305.html

How clever do you expect me to be? I'm just linking.

As I said in my post yesterday, and as anyone who is even paying a little bit of attention to the news is likely aware, there's been a lot of bitching from leftists and terrorists about the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. The complaints, and I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, range from prisoner complaints that a female interrogator "invaded the personal space" of a prisoner, to interrogators playing Cristina Aguliera music, to interrogators forcing the would-be twentieth September 11th hijacker to watch a puppet show satirizing his involvement in the terrorist plot. Holy crap, this is unbelievable! I mean, we have non-terrorist prisoners getting ass-raped in the jails in the continental United States, and we don't hear these kind of complaints from anybody about that. I mean, what the hell?

So, anyway, here's my idea for handling Guantanamo detainees. We force prisoners to watch documentaries against homophobia and mysogyny. We put them in mandatory gay tolerance courses and we'll put women in all visible positions of authority in the camp. We force them to spend hours every day being exposed to liberal, Western values. God knows it'd be good for them. The best part of my plan, though, is watching for the left's reaction. I mean, will they bitch about how we are being disrespectful towards Muslim culture (like they have with the rest of these tame-ass interrogation tactics that have actually been used on Guantanamo prisoners), or will they be supportive of the promotion of the values they all think should be taught to kids in elementary school? Personally, I honestly think more leftists would fall into the former category simply because it allows them to bash Bush. Either way, on the one hand you have fundamentalist Arab Muslims possibly finally getting a clue about the 21st fucking century, on the other hand you have leftists proving to the world what unredeemable shitbags so many of them are. This would be a fun experiment to see put into practice.

This comic cracked me up.

I just started my summer semester, so I haven't been too attentive to the blog the last few days. Not that there's much going on lately anyways. A lot of news about Michael Jackson. Here goes me giving a shit! Oh, and apparently leftists and terrorists still don't like Guantanamo a whole lot. Come to think of it, I don't think the terrorists care a whole lot either. But apparently some leftorrists complained about mishandling of the Koran. You want to talk about desecrating a holy book, you need to see my grandma's copy of the Christian Bible. I swear to God she has almost every fucking goddamn passage in the whole book underlined or highlighted. I mean, I kind of get it from the perspective that "Well, it's God's word, so it's all good" but for Christ's sake, why not just get every page laminated instead? That makes more sense, at least as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, fuck the Koran, and fuck Allah, and every last one of those militant racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, anti-capitalist, homophobic, sharia law theocrats. I really do want to be respectful towards all religions, but until the Arab world comes into the 21st century -- wait, hell, lets lower the bar to reasonable level -- the 18th century, then I could care less what happens to their holy book. The fact that they have leveled the pussiest complaints imaginable against the guards and staff at Guantanamo just serves to make me defiantly apathetic. If anybody out there happens to be a decent, honest Muslim who does not fall under any of the above descriptions, good for you, the above rant does not apply to you (These Iranian women here, of course, get a big AfD thumb's up, and if they were here now I'd give them all high fives. Hat tip to Free Will).

Incidentally, while I love my cat to death, he has been really pissing me off lately. He must have found a rabbit's nesting site somewhere, and he keeps bringing back baby rabbits. I honestly would prefer if he brought the rabbits back already dead, so that I could just bury them someplace and get it over with (Yes, I give every animal my cat kills, except insects, a proper burial. I'm just sappy like that.). But to have a live baby rabbit, and not know where its nest is to return it to its mother, well it really bothers me. I have had a bit of a soft spot for animals since I was a wee lad, so it really is disturbing to me that because of my beloved cat these innocent little baby animals are pretty much dying a slow, drawn out death, and I am completely impotent to do anything about it. I have to give a lot of credit to my li'l brudder, who was a huge help in getting information and materials to nurse it (I was just going to leave the rabbit outside, and hope its mother found it somehow), but unfortunately it wouldn't drink any milk and died anyways, though it did last a lot longer than I expected. I guess my brudder's a pretty good guy, but don't ever tell him I said that (In fact, if you do ever meet him, just tell him Bruce Springsteen is a talentless butt-fucker who should be beaten to death with sticks). Anyway, after this one died, and I figured it was alright to let the cat outside again, he went back and brought home another goddamn baby rabbit! This one escaped to God know's where after the cat dropped it off on the porch, but I sincerely doubt this one will make it either. Nature is cruel, heartless bitch, folks.

Okay, that's all the pointless rants I got. Here's a sample of what's currently on my MP3 playlist on my computer: Alice Cooper - Eighteen, AC/DC - A Whole Lotta Rosie, Bad Brains - Pay to Cum, Richard Hell & the Voidoids - Blank Generation, Joan Jett - Bad Reputation, The Misfits - I Turned Into a Martian, the Honeycombs - Have I the Right?, the Donnas - Take it Off, and the music to the original Ninja Gaiden game. I'm so awesome.

Drum has a great post up on why America is awesome. Go read it.

It's been a while since I'd last checked out Filibuster Cartoons, so I was going back through the archives for recent comics I'd missed, and I came across this gem, which I recommend checking out. While you're over there I recommend checking out this one as well. There is so much truth in both of those cartoons.

So over at The Fly's blog he left readers with the eternal question,

Who would win in a fight: ninjas, or pirates?
And yes, there is a right answer.

Indeed there is a right answer, but I'm not convinced The Fly has it. Here's some of the key points from the comments to his post:

Sipidation: Ninjas would win especially if they were of the Teenage Turtle variety.

Me: Ninjas. If pirates were any good at fighting they wouldn't have all those missing hands, legs, and eyeballs.

Manda: Ninjas, because they'd just kill the pirates when they were passed out drunk.

Me again: Ninja: I descend, silent as a shadow, and kill in a heart beat. Before my enemy's body drops to the floor I am long gone.
Pirate: Argh! I be havin' this peg penis ever since I tried masturbating with me hook!

Con: If the battle were at sea, I'd put my money on the pirates. On land, ninjas. Call it the home field advantage.

The Fly: Every last one of you, except for Poor-Con who's at least logical about it, is a wanker.Pirates, all the way.

Ninjas are about five feet tall. Pirates are bloodthirsty savages who keep fighting in spite of a few missing body parts on some pirates.

Wow. Just... Wow.

Sip again: You’re crazy! Pirates are just drunk and dirty bottom feeder too lazy to get a real job. They prey on weaker vessels where they know there isn’t a chance for them to lose. Where as Ninjas are highly trained well oiled machines. Trained to fight and to kill. They use the shadow of darkness to get the advantage over their enemies and don’t stop until their objective is complete. The only advantage the pirates could possibly have over Ninjas is guns. Even then the Ninjas would use their stealth to remain undetected while they kill the pirates one by one.

Me again: I don't know, I've never seen a pirate fighting with a bloody stump. In fact, it may very well be the case that they lose their limbs and eyes on routine stupidity around the ship (such as the above mentioned masturbating accident).

Ninjas are disciplined and well-trained, pirates are just a bunch of drunken pleasure-seekers. Pirates probably have more fun, but that usually ends when their ship is boarded by ninjas. Also, quite frankly, the Japanese are pretty much more efficient at everything so, yeah, advantage: ninjas.

So, where do you AfD readers stand? I'm fairly certain that at least the Kallini brothers will back me up on this one. Let's hear as many opinions as we can on this. Maybe we can resolve this age old question once and for all.

Lee linked to a collection of quotes by Janice Rogers Brown on the Pussies -- er, People for the American Way website, which are apparently supposed to make her seem "radical" and scary, but to be honest I get a boner just reading them. I mean, read them and tell me how anyone who is even marginally pro-capitalism/pro-U.S. Constitution could find any of those quotes objectionable. They sound perfectly reasonable, and she sounds superbly intelligent. The fact that these are the quotes that were hand-picked by the opposition to shore up support against her is astonishing to me. How are you supposed to interpret this in any way except to assume that these people have nothing short of a religious faith in the inherent moral supremacy and infalibility of government (so long as Republicans aren't in power, of course)?

A strong arguement for letting the police have tazers.

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/policetazer.html

Wow.

Until MA's post, I didn't realize what rich culture and traditions Africa enjoys. He really opened my eyes.

Africa right now is going through a crisis period. Their problems are myriad, but can all be traced to one root: a severe and continuing happy-thought deficit. This deficit is the root cause of all socio-economic problems in the entire subcontinent, the effects of which bear a marked similarity to WWII Europe. These include but are not limited to: poverty, famine, pestilence, genocide, more poverty, racism, more genocide, economic downturns, ecological destruction, dictatorship, thuggery, flux, starvation and complete socioeconomic collapse.

In other words, you could say that Africa right now is suffering under Happiness Hitler. And if you selfishly hoard all the good thoughts, you are actively supporting Happiness Hitler.As Americans, we are guaranteed a minimum average of 5.15 happy-thoughts per hour. The average African recieves less than 25 happy centi-thoughts per day.

Africa can't help itself; a positive attitude isn't something you can just DECIDE to have. They need our help.

They next time you're together with friends, before you begin having fun, think of the Africans. Remember the situation in Zimbabwe and South Africa. Instead of selfishly being happy with your lot in life, be miserable for people who never had the opportunity to take responsibility themselves.

Since I like the concept of doing nice things for those in need, but not the actual having to do stuff and making an effort, I've decided to launch the official Alchemy for Dummies' Send Happy Thoughts to Africa Campaign (SHTAC). Since pretending to help Africa seems to be the popular trend right now, I thought I'd hop on the bandwagon and launch this one post campaign where you can all post comments sending your wishes, prayers, and otherwise useless but nice sentiments to Africa. And, of course, what would any decent third-world charity be without excessive gushy condescension towards those we seek to help? So here I go: The people of Africa have a proud and noble culture, which they created all by themselves! Distinguishing features of African culture include a traditional African music, traditional African clothing, traditional African continent, traditional African eating bugs, traditional African exotic traditions, and traditional African fables about something like a proud turtle who learns humility from the birds or something, and then they give him their wings, and they celebrate with the snake and the gazelle. This is all part of the proud heritage of African heritage which we should all celebrate.

If you wish to offer your support for SHTAC, please leave positive comments under this post and link to this post on your blog. And, hey, if you want to send some money that's cool too. Remember, SHTAC is completely dependant on you for to work. So help us make sure for to work. Or else I guess something might happen to Africa. That's not a threat, just a presumption. Remember, we can all for to work together! We can for to make a difference!

So, Kerry's grades from Yale were finally released to the public, and as it turns out they were pretty much the same as those of Chimpy McMoron

Sen. John F. Kerry's grade average at Yale University was virtually
identical to President Bush's record there, despite repeated portrayals of Kerry
as the more intellectual candidate during the 2004 presidential campaign.

This is almost as embarassing as that time Brokaw was interviewing Kerry, and he pointed out that according to the tests both took entering the reserves Bush's IQ was about 5 points higher than Kerry's.

Kerry had a cumulative average of 76 and got four Ds his freshman year - in
geology, two history courses and political science, The Boston Globe reported
Tuesday.

His grades improved with time, and he averaged an 81 his senior
year and earned an 89 - his highest grade - in political science as a
senior...

...In 1999, The New Yorker magazine published a transcript showing Bush had
a cumulative grade average of 77 his first three years at Yale, and a similar
average under a non-numerical rating system his senior year.

Bush's highest grade at Yale was an 88 in anthropology, history and
philosophy. He received one D in his four years, a 69 in astronomy, and improved
his grades after his freshman year, the transcript showed.

So, Chimpy McSmirkovich actually had a slightly higher cumulative grade average (77 vs. 76, though it may be thrown of a bit by the fact that according to this article Yale used a different grading system Bush's senior year, though it was apparently a fairly similar average still), and got less Ds (Bush's 1 vs. Kerry's 4). I think this goes to show that people tend to mistake how articulate you are for how intelligent you are (and as far as first impressions go, how else would someone judge your intelligence?), but this is most definitely not reflected in reality. I know most of you reading this are quite familiar with more than a few very articulate morons (i.e. Maureen Dowd).

UPDATE: Doesn't John Kerry as a youngster look like Dylan Klebold?

For a couple of weeks back there we were regularly getting over 20 comments on many of the posts on AfD. What happened? You readers are all more interesting than I am, so come on and post something. I honestly don't care what it's about.

A roundabout chain of thought off MA's driving post got me wondering: when did the Republicans become the unwashed masses?
Think about it. Who do Democrats point to as having swung the election? The hicks, the rednecks, etc. Who popularly votes for Democrats? Celebrities, academics, etc.
How did we let this happen?
It could just as easily be upstanding busnessmen and philosophers agains the strung out hippies, but it isn't.
I could turn this into a lengthy diatribe, but I'd rather hear other people's thoughts.

I almost forgot today is the anniversary of D-Day. Here is a report I did on the D-Day invasion for a histroy class about a year ago, which I posted on AfD.

It's also my cat's presumed berf-day. He'll probably spend the day looking for new and interesting places to sleep, and then sleeping on them.

Here's a list of how drivers in all 48 of the continental United States plus D.C. (don't ask me why Alaska and Hawaii aren't on there) did on a test of 20 basic driving safety questions. Not too many surprises,

Drivers in the Northeast and mid-Atlantic states did worst. Twenty percent of test-takers failed there.

The state of Rhode Island leads the nation in driver cluelessness, according to the survey. The average test score there was 77, just eight points above a failing grade.

Those in neighboring Massachusetts were second worst and New Jersey, third worst.

Go and see how your state ranks, and then start fearing for your lives. Incidentally, every state that scored an 80% or lower is a solidly Democrat state. Whoulda thunk?

Here's a few more interesting tidbits from the article:

"The GMAC Insurance National Driver's Test found that nearly 20 million Americans, or about 1 in 10 drivers, would fail a state driver's test if they had to take one today."

"According to the study, many drivers find basic practices, such as merging and interpreting road signs, difficult."

I think I would have been happier not knowing those facts.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8085008/

Everyone, ask yourself where else methane might come from.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8088528/

Words fail me. Just check out this post at Kallini.com.

I don't know how many of our readers here are IMAO fans, but I always thought Frank J was pretty funny myself. Anyway, I finally got around to listening to the first ever IMAO podcast, and I definitely recommend checking it out (I found the best way to listen to it, at least for me, was to right click the MP3 link, then do a 'Save Target As' and save it to my computer). It's a little over 20 minutes long, so it might take a bit to download or stream it, but I thought it was worth it. The line about RightWingDuck had me rolling. A few dumb jokes here and there (I can't really fault them for that, since IMAO is able to be consistantly funny far more than I am, where as I just have random funny ideas pop into my head every so often and make an Angry Stick Figure Man cartoon when they strike me), but overall it was for the most part consistantly funny and well done.

We're the most human rights abusing-est, oppressiest, evil-est country on the planet!

I received an email with a really good idea: Go to Google News and search for stories about “human rights abuses xxx” where xxx is the name of a country. Let’s see the results as of this moment.

United States: 2,740
Iran: 374
China: 824
Sudan: 400
Zimbabwe: 265
Belarus: 39
Russia: 483
Burma: 68
Saudi Arabia: 142
Nepal: 232
Syria: 90
Cuba: 1,330 — because that’s where Guantanamo is.

Take that, other countries! You dictatorial regimes ain't got nothing on the USA Dream Team (found via Right Side of the Rainbow)

As it turns out the child who drew the original Hopkin Green Frog flyer was actually an autistic adolescent.

It's still hilarious, but it's the kind of funny that you feel when you hear the Brazilian government is walling off the favelas because of the insane crime rate, or that a hundred Iraqis were killed by celebratory gun fire, or when you laugh at a joke about dead babies or the holocaust. You can't help but laugh, but at the same time there's a sadness inside.

So I go down the streets,
Down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda Hitler, you know"
I said "I know, everybody's Hitler, now
You Hitler too!"

Link

Links all found at Four Right-Wing Wackos (hence the title of the post):

Dane has a run down of the dirt on Rev. Al

Orson Scott Card proves once again that not all Democrats are vile, worthless scumbags, and completely pegs the far left-wing of his party

What is George Orwell's opinion of pacifists? "Pacifism is objectively pro-Fascist. This is elementary common sense." Read his entire letter, it's well worth it.

And here is a nice tribute to a Marine killed in Iraq, who came here as a Mexican immigrant and enlisted as soon as he became legal.

And, just when I say Israel comes off smelling like a rose, something like this happens.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4591639.stm

Now they smell silly.