Today I turn 22 years old. Since I don't really talk much about myself on this blog, I thought I might let my readers know a little bit more about me.

The name Mad Alchemist is just a dumb screenname I came up with for posting on my friend's message board. When trying to think up a name for this blog Alchemy For Dummies came to mind, which I found to be a mildly funny title, so I went with it, as well as the Alchemist handle. If you've ever talked to me on other blogs that I post on, such as Right-Thinking.com or Kallini.com, I usually use my real name, Chris D. For what it's worth, an ex-coworker and I were once joking about making a movie about our place of emplyment, and casting actors in the rolls of all of our co-workers. We decided that I should be played by Jack Black and him by Cuba Gooding Jr. For the record though, I'm pretty mild-mannered and good-natured, and I don't ever act crazy and obnoxious like Jack Black.

I live near Cleveland, OH. I graduated from high school in 2000, but I didn't start attending college until this last spring. I am going to a two year college, and intend to transfer to a four year college when I'm done, though I haven't decided on a college yet. I am paying my own way through school, and I'm really not interested in taking out a loan, because I am paranoid of going into debt. I work part time and I'm going to school part time this summer, though I am taking classes full time in the fall. So far I have found my current college to be ridiculously easy, despite the fact that I am horribly lazy.

My father is an ex-Marine, and my mother is an immigrant from Sao Paolo, Brazil. When I was 7 my mother died of a form of cancer that was pretty much unknown to American doctors, so she had to return to Brazil for treatment, where her form of cancer was more prevelant. When she died we didn't have the money to fly down to Brazil for her funeral. Most of my mother's family lives in Sao Paolo, though one of her sisters as well as one of her neices have moved here to Ohio, and married Americans (my mother, aunt, and cousin all married electricians). I also have a pet cat, who is currently sprawled out on top of my mouse pad, asleep.

I don't usually watch much TV, but the shows I do like I tend to be fanatical about. My favorite shows are the Simpsons and Futurama, though lately I've been really into FOX's new show Arrested Development.  As far as music, I usually like nice and trashy punk or rockabilly. I love Johnny Cash. I usually like bands that have an irreverent sense of humor.

My first experience with politics was when I was visiting my mother's family in Brazil, when I was probably about 5 or 6 years old. I was waving political signs for presidential wannabe Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, of Brazil's socialist party. This seems kind of strange, given that I've become such a hardcore rightist, but I really didn't know better at the time. Lula's opponent from the right-wing Liberal Party in that race was a man named Color (pronounced Coh-Lore). I really don't regret pimping for Lula, even though now that he is president I think that he is a horrible president, but I still think Color was a total bastard. Basically, Color reminds of Clinton. Or, more accurately, when Clinton was first running for president he reminded me immediately of Color. Of course, Color did crap that no American president could get away with, for example punching a cameraman on tape while he was campaigning. And the bastard still won the goddamn election (though, Lula ran again, and is now the current president of Brazil). In Brazil, it seems to me, the political system is so fucked up that there really is no decent alternative on the right or left. In fact, the murder of political opponents is not uncommon in Brazil, and I believe it was Color's father who, while serving in Brazil's senate, actually shot another senator on the floor of the senate.

My current politics are fairly libertarian. I'm 100% pro-gun and pro-free market. I think social programs should be kept to a minimum, though they should be available for the most dire of circumstances, they should be a small fraction of what they are now. The current system, I believe, does more to sustain poverty than to alleviate it. These services need to be dispensed with much more discipline than they are now. As far as social libertarianism, I think consenting adults should be allowed to do pretty much whatever the hell they want, no matter how terrible I find it on a personal level. The main reason government exists is to protect our life, liberty, and property from coercion or restraint. A government that is more coercive than needed to provide for it's few duties spelled out in the Constitution is defeating it's own purpose. When someone does violate the person or property of a non-consenting individual, then I believe that it is the duty of government to bring down the hand of God on the guilty party. While I don't like the idea of the United States being the global policeman, I think when there is serious oppression taking place somewhere in the world that it is our moral duty to be the global good Samaritan when we have the ability to do so.

If there's anything else about me you're interested in knowing, let me know. If I think of anything else I'll add it.

I added a bunch of links to my blogroll, then shuffled the whole thing around, so if I screwed anything up, and you notice one of the links doesn't work, let me know.

Anyway, here's what I added:

2 libertarian blogs, one by the fairly popular libertarian author Claire Wolfe (who_I_ripped_into_a_bit,_last_month, because she was bashing Reagan after his death, however she's also been a very big influence on my way of thinking over the years); and one,  the Kole Hard Facts of Life, by Mike Kole, who used to do an awesome college radio show here in Cleveland, called Laissez Faire, back before he moved to Indiana.  I also added Kim du Toit to the roll, even though I don't read his stuff very often, I really enjoy what I do read by him. I added Right Side of the Rainbow too, since I really wanted to put a gay Republican on there, and Andrew Sullivan seems to have gone off the deep end.  I've only read RSotR a little bit, but it seems like a really good blog from what I've read. As I write this, I've just thought of a few more blogs I should add.

My recent_post on Men in Hats inspired me to put up a couple more links to web comics I like (although, with a few of them, such as White Ninja, you might have to wade through a couple of crappy comics before you get to the gems). Be warned before you visit any humor sites I recommend, since I have a pretty fucked up sense of humor sometimes.

I also added a section for links to non-blog political sites. Some of the sites I've included there are the homepage for my personal hero, Prof. Walter E. Williams; the homepage for Backwoods Home Magazine (an excellent magazine on self-reliance, though I usually just read the great conservative and libertarian political essays contained therein); one of my friend's message board, which is the only left-wing site I have so far among my links, if you don't count humor sites (the page currently isn't up, but my friend is going to get back to me when it's up and running again); as well as two websites for right-wing punk fans, since if you haven't noticed, I happen to be among that rare (or at least not particularly outspoken) breed that is the right-wing punk fan.

The links labeled "irreverant humor" include my good friend the Holy Tard's homepage, which hasn't been updated in quite some time but has some funny rants on there, as well as a few popular humor sites.

If anybody has any suggestions that should be on there, or would like to be added to my blogroll, just let me know, preferably by leaving a comment here, but e-mail if you must. I check my comments a lot more often than my e-mail, however. I'll probably add some music links, to promote obscure bands that I like, even though probably most of my readers don't care.  If you haven't noticed by now, I rather enjoy talking about crap that I know damn well that nobody cares about besides myself. I also enjoy the liberal use of parentheses.

Thanks to everyone, left or right, who reads my humble little blog. I hope nobody finds my recent posting of the lyrics to the Dead Milkmen's I Dream of Jesus to be too terribly sacrilidgeous (sorry God).  Oh, I'm up to 195 quotes on my random quote generator, so feel free to refresh often.

by the Dead Milkmen

It was during my 2nd senior year when Mom found Jesus Christ. His spirit was trapped inside an old manischevitz bottle that Mom picked out of the dumpster behind the 7-11. Mom brought the bottle inside and sat it down on top of the TV. Then she told all of us kids to gather round, and then she explained how Jesus lived in the bottle, and how, if she wanted to, she could call him out to do her bidding. Sis said it reminded her of an old TV show, and Mom slapped her and called her a heretic. I didn't say anything, cause I just still remember the time outside the Safeway, when it took 4 security guards to hold Mom down.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul to take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

It wasn't long before people from all over the world started coming to our house to see the bottle. At first I thought that this would make me more popular at school. Instead it seemed to have the opposite result. Kids would stop and point at me in the hallway and say, "There's the boy whose mother keeps our savior cooped up in that tiny little bottle." And then everybody started calling me 'Bottle boy'. And that really hurt. It was also around this time that Mom began to attract some really weird followers. Like that guy who never used deodorant and spoke only in riddles. And that woman who collected 19th century hand made Amish swimwear.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul to take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she had a special bottle in which our savior lived
Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she could unleash His vengeance by unfastening the lid

As the year went on, things went from bad to worse, and I realized that if there wasn't a big change pretty soon, I'd never be able to get a date for the prom. I couldn't go the year before because Mom belonged to a church that considered dancing a one way ticket to Hell. But that's a whole nother story. Anyway, by this point Mom had appeared on the Richard Bey Show, A.M. Philadelphia and Geraldo, so there was no use in me changing schools, since everybody knew who my Mom was. Also we had to spend all the money from Mom's personal appearances to hire a bodyguard, since by this point we were getting about 400 death threats a day.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul to take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

Then one night, I just couldn't stand it any more. While everyone else was sleeping I crept downstairs. Slowly I went up to the bottle and began to unfasten the lid. At first, nothing happened. But then the room filled with a thick white smoke. I was glad my sister had taken the batteries out of the smoke detector to put into her Walkman. When the smoke cleared, I found myself face to face with the son of God, who was much shorter than I had expected. He told me that since I'd freed him, He'd grant me one wish. And that's how I got to go to the prom with Geena Davis. But you probably already read about that in People.

Jesus loves me, yes I know
For the Bible tells me so
When I'm weak he makes me strong
That's why I sing this song
If I die before I wake
Pray to him my soul to take
Jesus loves me, yes I know

Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she had a special bottle in which our savior lived
Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she could unleash His vengeance by unfastening the lid
Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she had a special bottle in which our savior lived
Mommy she loved Jesus, but not like others did
For she could unleash His vengeance by unfastening the lid

I just discovered an excellent web comic the other day,  Men_In_Hats. If any of my readers read web comics, you probably know that genuinely funny ones are a rare breed. I would have to say that Men In Hats is the funniest web comic I've read outside of Penny_Arcade. The comic is somewhat left-leaning (though never references real world characters outside of the comic) and is very anti-religion, but damn if it doesn't bring at least a smile to my face with practically every strip. Even though I don't agree with a lot of the opinions of the strip's author, they're always presented in a light-hearted, non-hostile manner (In other words, this is no Ted Rall or Tom Tomorrow comic strip, where they do nothing but attack strawmen. Although I suppose the fundamentalist Christian character in Men In Hats could be considered a strawman. A rather hilarious strawman.). Anyway, I went through the entire archives, and it's a brilliant goddamn comic strip, which I recommend to anyone with a twisted sense of humor.

Whether your allegiance lies with the right, left, or somewhere else, you would be doing a disservice to yourself to miss this great essay by Kim du Toit. Hat tip to right-wing wacko, Raging_Dave.

I know it's sort of a faux pas to copy & paste and article in almost it's entirety, but I really didn't want to leave anything out from this Rich Lowry column:

If he stumbles over his words, he is an embarrassing idiot. If he manages to cut taxes or wage a war against Saddam Hussein with bipartisan support, he is a manipulative genius.
If he hasn't been able to capture Osama bin Laden, he is endangering U.S. security. If he catches bin Laden, it is only a ploy to influence the elections.
If he ignores U.N. resolutions, he is a dangerous unilateralist. If he takes U.N. resolutions on Iraq seriously, he is a dangerous unilateralist. If he doesn't get France to agree to his Iraq policy, he is ignoring important international actors. If he supports multiparty talks on North Korea, he is not doing enough to ignore important international actors.
If he bombed Iraq, he should have bombed Saudi Arabia instead, and if he had bombed Saudi Arabia, he should have bombed Iran, and if he had bombed all three, he shouldn't have bombed anyone at all. If he imposes a U.S. occupation on Iraq, he is fomenting Iraqi resistance by making the United States seem an imperial power. If he ends the U.S. occupation, he is cutting and running.
If he warns of a terror attack, he is playing alarmist politics. If he doesn't warn of a terror attack, he is dangerously asleep at the switch. If he says we're safer, he's lying, and if he doesn't say we're safer, he's implicitly admitting that he has failed in his core duty as commander in chief.
If he adopts a doctrine of preemption, he is unacceptably remaking American national-security policy. If the United States suffers a terror attack on his watch, he should have preempted it. If he signs a far-reaching antiterror law, he is abridging civil liberties. If the United States suffers another terror attack on his watch, he should have had a more vigorous anti-terror law.
Bush's economy hasn't created new jobs. If it has created new jobs, they aren't well-paying jobs. If they are well-paying jobs, there is still income inequality in America.
If Bush opposes a prescription-drug benefit for the elderly, he's miserly. If he supports a prescription-drug benefit for the elderly, he's lining the pockets of the pharmaceutical companies. If he restrains government spending, he's heartless. If he supports government spending, he's bankrupting the nation and robbing from future generations.
If he opposes campaign-finance reform, he's a tool of corporate interests. If he signs campaign-finance reform, he's abridging the First Amendment rights of Michael Moore (whose ads for Fahrenheit 9/11 might run afoul of the law).
If he accuses John Kerry of flip-flopping, he is merely highlighting one of the Massachusetts senator's strengths — his nuance and thoughtfulness. If he flip-flops on nation-building or testifying before the 9/11 commission, he proves his own ill-intentions, cluelessness, or both.
If he doesn't admit a mistake, he is bullheaded and detached from reality. If he admits a mistake, he is damning his own governance in shocking fashion.
If he sticks with Dick Cheney, he is saddling himself with an unpopular vice president, giving Democrats who can't wait to run against Cheney a political advantage. If he drops Cheney, he is admitting that the Democratic attacks against his vice president have hit home, thus giving Democrats who have made those charges a political advantage.
If he loses in November, the voice of the American people has spoken a devastating verdict on his presidency. If he wins, he stole the election.

If any left-wingers actually read this blog since Charles stopped posting, this is exactly why no one takes your criticisms of Bush seriously. Bush can't win with you no matter what he does, and you have less credibility with each new accusation. You've collectively become the boy who cried "wolf".

I came across this great rant, thanks to Raging Dave from Four Right-Wing Wackos. Here's a sample:

What the hell is the matter with these people? In New York of all places! Remember those burning, smoking piles of rubble piled 10 stories high, full of body parts and that smell that wouldn't go away? Right there where the World Trade Center used to be? Remember the people jumping to their deaths, preferring that to being burned alive? I'll bet they didn't plan on making that particular choice when they left the house for work that beautiful September morning. Remember the planes full of people like you and me just going about their business, then WHAM! slamming into a building and obliterating every person on board, right before the explosion that burned up everybody within a few floors in the building? Bad day for those folks, eh?

One of those planes had a bunch of kids on it, going on a field trip for school. Should we just forget about their last few moments, then? Sorry, we have political battles to fight, no time for your memories.

Are we now just supposed to move past all that, forget it ever happened, cross our fingers, and hope it never happens again?

Are we now to assume our president is a criminal for finally enforcing the UN's own freaking resolutions?

Are we now expected to punish Bush for doing what Clinton said he would do? It's been our official policy to remove Saddam Hussein since 1998. Does this fact not penetrate the skulls of the anti-Bush forces?

Are we now to forget about terrorism, and the states that sponsor it, so we can get back to our self-obsessed lives?

What the hell is the matter with all of you?!

What kind of country do we live in, anyway? How stupid and disrespectful to the memory of those 3000 people can we be? Have we reached bottom yet, or or is there more of this disgusting bullshit waiting around the next bend?

Sorry, but I've had it.

Screw David Letterman. Screw Tina Fey and her cutesy attitude and smart ass glasses on SNL Update. Screw the New York Times and their insular editorial page. Screw Michael Moore and all those who value his "contribution to the debate". Screw Jon Stewart and his smarter than thou hipster attitude.

Screw all the news anchors, and especially Jennings and Rather. Screw CNN for paying dictators to let them stay in country all those years for the right to broadcast propaganda, just to win ratings wars and therefore charge their advertisers more money - congratulations! I'm sure it was well worth it. Did you happen to get any quotes from folks just before they were castrated, or had their arms broken, or were fed feet first into shredders? Now THAT would've been entertaining, eh what!

Screw the entire pseudo-intellectual Washington press corps. Let me tell it to you straight: your opinions aren't worth a bucket of warm spit. Your questions at press conferences are horribly unfair and too narrowly focused. People outside of Washington just do not give a shit about all those cute little games of "gotcha" you enjoy so; knock if off and do your freaking jobs.

Click the link and read the whole thing.

This completely captures the way I (and I imagine most of my readers) feels inside. You can't walk into a Borders or Barnes & Noble without seeing stacks piled on stacks of "I Hate George W. Bush" hardcovers, obviously catering to a huge market of people who hate the president, but need to be told why they should. And I'm sure every single one of those books contains a diatribe some where about how their dissent is being silenced (how many countries that you can think of have entire industries peddling silenced dissent?). Much of the left is far more outraged by Bush's smirk than Saddam's genocide of Kurds. It really isn't that surprising, I suppose. The left-wing seems to view politics as the only mechanism to do good in the world, and when they aren't in power, then the world is deprived of their terrific goodness. This twisted thinking allows them to further twist reality in their own minds, to justify any means to return to power. It's kind of difficult to fantasize about ideals when reality is flying planes full of innocent civilians into buildings full of innocent civilians, but let's just pretend it isn't happening and go back to making fun of the Smirking Chimp.

Sorry I'm lazy, and never post anything on here. Looks like I missed International Link to IMAO Day, so hopefully I can redeem myself, perhaps by offering up my first born in sacrifice. I don't actually have any kids, but maybe Moxie will let me work something out as part of her right-wing eugenics program (Damn, she's hot).

I've noticed I am now on A Chick Named Marzi's blogroll, which makes me very happy. Marzi describes herself as a "pro-American, conservative Canadian punk chick". Now that is what I call a real woman. (Speaking of punk, I am very pleased with the new Vandals album, Hollywood Potato Chip, which, although not as good as their older stuff, is a huge step in the right direction, given how poppy their newer stuff was getting).

Kevensmind.net (one of the excellent blogs that had me on their blogroll) is no more, but Kevin is now blogging at my favorite hangout, Kallini.com, as the only non-Kallini blogger on the site.

Awesome Aaron, from Free Will linked me to this awesome flash movie, and also created this great flash movie of his own. Watch both, they're hilarious.

Somebody leave some comments on my blog. I'm getting bored.

I finished reading P.J. O'Rourke's Peace Kills and, like pretty much everything by P.J., it's quite excellent. It was a bit short, and certain portions don't quite hold the readers interest as well as others. If you've never read anything by P.J. O'Rourke before, this might not be the ideal book to start with (All the Trouble in the World is the book that got me hooked on P.J. O'Rourke, that or Parliament of Whores would probably be a good choice for a first time reader of O'Rourke), but I don't think most P.J. fans would be disappointed, especially if you've enjoyed his other recent works. Peace Kills, unlike most political books, is not preachy in the least. Most of the book consists of P.J.'s visits to political hot spots and his observations, both humorous and insightful, thereof. The targets of O'Rourke's satire, even the left-wing protests, are never dealt with maliciously, but always with good-natured humor. There are definitely some good laugh-out-loud moments, though not as many as in previous P.J. books. I would definitely recommend this one if you are a fan of P.J. O'Rourke.